Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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