Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
