had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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