people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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