she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
