my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
