ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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