I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize