pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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