loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
