Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
