Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
