Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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