p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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