take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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