It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize