If that was your dad, he is hot
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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