shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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