she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize