I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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