just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
