my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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