hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
