Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
