So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
