I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
