When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
