dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
