I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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