Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
