Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize