We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
