You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
