all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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