dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
