i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
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Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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