oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
