so let's talk penis.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
