just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
its not stalking. its research.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
