I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
