I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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