I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm passing your future prison.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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