How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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