Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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