I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
