OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
