did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
