sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
