she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
