The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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