Got a toothbrush?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
