I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
only if we run a train.
done.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
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