Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize