belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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