Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize