I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
