I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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