we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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