I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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