I just pynch a tree in the face
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
