This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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