I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
