After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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