He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
